Day 10

Day 10- A story about a past relationship

This is one of the ones that I am not quite sure what to talk about.  I can say that there have been 5 important relationships in my life.  They each had lessons that taught me about how I view love and how it has made me the way that I am about relationships.  The first love, the first "oh I'm in college now, things will be different from high school,"the first long-term, the first "dump you for a friend" guy, and the finding out about myself lesson.  So which one should I talk about?

Hmm.  Well when I started college, I briefly dated someone.  We really hadn't talked much before we started dating.  We just hung out a few times and then randomly we decided to start dating.  I thought, "oh I'm in college now, things will be different than high school."  Turns out, it wasn't.  It was pretty much like a high school relationship plus the fact that I could drive.  hahaha.  It was as awkward relationship and we just didn't have the chemistry.  It was very short lived, and it made me realize that just because I was in college now, didn't meant that people automatically just change and mature.  It was a reality check that freshman me needed and it taught me that growing up meant changing how I viewed realtionships.  And I did change.  I had a good relationship following that one and have learned even more about myself since.

Day 9

Day 09- Something/someone you're proud of

So this might come off as incredibly cheesy, but here it goes...

In the summer, it will be 4 years since I graduated high school.  My friends either went to a four year university straight away or went to Delta and made decisions from there.  I am so proud of where everyone is at in their lives today.  One of my friends just came back from auditioning all over the US for music school grad programs.  One of my friends has an awesome job lined up for her when she finishes in June.  One of my friends passed the CBEST test so he can now teach for minimum wages.  Each friend is at a good place in their lives (even if some might be wary of the future) and have had so many good things happen in the process.  Many of my Delta friends have moved on to better schools and made greater goals for themselves.  My friend has a a beautiful son and her own little loving family.  All of my friends are at such great places in their lives and I am extremely happy for everyone and the places they are at in their lives.  I am happy to be a part of their lives and I hope that we will continue being friends for the long haul.  :)

Day 8

I'm posting this early in the morning since my Saturday will be busy with a photo workshop, packing and traveling home.  :)

Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why

March is around the corner.  Another session is starting soon.  This is definitely a good time to get some short term goals going.

1) I want to go to kendo at least once a week (probably Thursdays after my class in Ventura)
2) This session I will work on practicing Photoshop at least an hour a day
3) I will try and keep my room clean for this session
4) I want to shoot for myself so I can be ready for the Portfolio class in May
5) I don't want to buy too much since I don't have a steady pay coming in
6) I want to meet more people for modeling and networking

This session won't be as busy as LS was, so I am looking to focus more on myself and professional betterment.  

Day 7

Day 07- A picture of something/someone who has had the biggest impact on you

EDIT: okay, so I guess I'm just all talk.  XD  I feel progress and I just can't let go.  My mind won't let it go, and I just can't.  I still learned from this class and the people in it.  I will not forget what I learned, but I'm not able to let go just yet.  It's too important to me still.  :)

Well...this one is a challenge.  I could do my first love...I could do my first heartbreak (different from my first love person)...I could do the story of a boyfriend punk who dumped me for one of my friends after introducing them...I could do my ex-best friend story....there are so many things in my life that have taught me so much about people and myself that I have a lot of people to thank where I am today.  I know that sounds incredibly and ridiculously cheesy, but it's true.  And thinking about it..they probably could all tie together.  XD  At the same time, I do have amazing friends and family who helped to get me to the spot I'm at today.  So I think I will talk about the most recent growth in my life and the biggest change I have come across so far.

This is a picture of my psychology class from this past session.  There was a field trip we all went on where we sat around a campfire on the beach and just talked.  We were supposed to talk about the things we wouldn't be able to talk about in a classroom.  I took my guitar with me and told them the story of a boy I was into for a year.  I told them that I had confessed to him over the summer, but still was not getting any sort of response.  I used to say "as long as I know that he cares I could be happy."  I used to think that I would be able to live with things the way they are.  I told them that I wanted to send him a recording of a song I had learned for Valentine's day and ask him if he had any sort of thoughts of an "us" or if he just wanted me to leave him alone.  I played/sang the song, and I was so nervous that my voice was shaky and I could barely form the chords.  At the end, everyone thought it was cute and one person said, "it was perfectly imperfect."  Everyone supported me and thought what I did was a very brave thing.  I had some input from them and a lot of "well, it sounds like the guy just isn't good enough for you."  A lot of people that knew the story had told me similar things.  Things like, "if you have told him and obviously have so much to give, then him not taking it is dumb on his part."  I posted a video to all on Valentine's Day and got a very positive response.  But I did not get any kind of response from him.  Not even a "good job with the video!"  or "I can tell you practiced hard!" Another final straw was when he refused to talk about even his theory on love.  To me it was the sign that he is definitely not ready.  This, and an amazing week previously gave me a COMPLETELY different outlook on my feelings and how I valued myself.  I realize that I do have a lot of love to give, and someone who can't think about relationships now is just not ready for me.  I finally had to become honest with myself and realize that I am worth so much more than I give myself credit for.  There are people out there who want to put the effort in with me.  And I have to realize that my time will come.  

It was last week that I realized that I had completely changed.  I am slowly letting go.  My heart and mind are clear.  Finally, after a year, I can focus completely on me.  And maybe someday if he changes his mind maybe something will happen.  But for now, I am just focusing on me and becoming the best photographer I can be.  So I want to thank my psychology class and my teacher for helping nudge me in the right direction of being positive about myself.  I didn't realize that by not getting the recognition of my feelings or efforts it was making my self-confidence lower more and more.  When you try and put your feelings and hard work, and someone just ignores all of it, you start to feel like, "what am I doing wrong that someone can't like me?"  It doesn't have to be just a love interest.  It can be friendship too.  

I have no hard feelings towards him.  I want that much to remain clear.  It's more like a self-realization with myself that there's no use in trying to share those kinds of feelings with someone who doesn't want them.  My happiness right now is that I came to such a huge realization.  I am incredibly happy for this session and all the people and events that helped me to come to this ending.  Thank you all.

Day 6

Day 06- A hobby you have

I'm a lomographer.  It all started when I was awarded a 120N Holga from my photography teacher in high school.  I had won a class contest for "best photo series" and in the prize pack was the Holga.  My teacher said to just mess around with it and see what happens.  I actually didn't try the camera out until much later, but the 2nd lomography camera I purchased was in college.  I had just finished my first paying photographing job and I wanted to reward myself with a camera I had been debating on buying for some time.  It was an Oktomat, a multilens camera that shoots 8 frames on a single shot of film.  I had been debating on this camera for awhile because a lot of people were saying that the camera didn't work well.  But then I finally decided, that's what lomography is about.  It's about each camera's unique feel and function.  Each camera has different light leaks, lenses, imperfections and all that.  I ended up with a great camera that takes great pictures.  :)  For my 3rd camera I asked for a Diana F+ for Christmas.  It came with a nice little flash, but I also asked for a ringflash and an instant back that would take polaroid type pictures.  The splitzer was also thrown in so that I could make composite-type pictures using the Diana.  These cameras use film, both 35mm and 120mm types.  I love experimenting with lomography cameras and all the cool things they can do.  I keep trying a bunch of films and using different equipment to get different results every time.  I will continue to do lomography, and hopefully obtain even more cameras (like the Spinner 360˚!) and get better and better and using lomography to show my vision.  :)

Day 5

Day 05- A picture of a place you've been to

I made it in time!  One of my best friends and I had our Roo-Re Wednesday (roomie reunion) celebration and we hung out from the end of class (2:30) till just now.  Roo-Re Wednesday usually includes food and catching up since we aren't going to be living together until June.  After a lovely afternoon/night with her and her boyfriend over a plate of homemade Pastaschute (aka Pasta Kiana) and Roo-Re celebration cake we wrapped up our last reunion of the session.  ANYWAYS, on with the blogging.  :D

When I was going into my senior year of high school (summer '06) I went to England on an exchange trip. It was with Rotary so it was a little more business-like than most people would have probably liked, but I had an amazing host family and I had so much fun with the other exchange students.  This picture is from the London Eye and I had to do my classically fob pose since I thought I was cool back in the day.  =P  I have so many good memories from the trip.  Meeting my host family, hitting up English grocery stores (so awesome!), traveling through London, and getting lost/left behind in Greenwich Village.  XD  It was a great trip and I can't wait to travel more in the coming years.  :D

Day 4

Day 04- List 15 songs that represent your life's soundtrack


Hmm, well I don't know if these would necessarily make up a soundtrack to my life...well maybe I'll pick some of the most influential songs or ones that I can never get tired of.

1. m-flo's The Love Bug
This song changed my life.  I was a middle school who had just started getting into anime.  BoA was a favorite of mine from some of the songs I had listened to so I was always looking for stuff by her (back when I had to download mp3 links with dial-up...man that took forever!).  I went to San Francisco's Kinokuniya and was looking through their little music kiosk where they used to have the latest PV's from Japanese artists.  In there I found a PV titled The Love Bug m-flo ♥ BoA.  I watched it and instantly fell in love.  I raced over to the bookcases filled with CD's and bought the single as soon as I found it.  m-flo has been my favorite group since then, and Verbal is my all time favorite rapper.  They introduced me to a multitude of Japanese artists and really kick started my love for Asian  music in general.  Thinking about it now, majority of the artists that I follow have been introduced to me through m-fo.  This song is one of the first songs that I learned to sing in Japanese without ever having taken a class.  And my junior year of high school, I found someone who was willing to sing this duet with me.  :)  But before that I used to do all the parts by myself....and people found it pretty entertaining that I could rap in Japanese.  XD  m-flo has changed my life and I continue to follow their music, even if they aren't making music together anymore.

2. Pogo- Upular
I had heard Pogo's previous mix of Alice in Wonderland back when I was in high school.  It was a forgotten memory until I came across Upular!  I love how Pogo mixes movies.  And not just any movies!  He remixes all of my favorites from my childhood.  Even down to the exact version of The Secret Garden that I loved.  The fact that he just picks out clips that he likes from movies and then can make entire songs from all of it.  I think it's really a fantastic ability.  Disney might hold him back at times, but his fans will definitely keep him going.  I am so excited to see him live in San Francisco March 11th and I hope I will get a chance to meet him and tell him how influential he is to me as an artist.  

3. And Run- He is We
I saw He is We open up for Yellowcard at their comback concert in November 2010.  They were this cute 5 piece band with a classical pop/songwriter sound.  They're from Seattle and currently touring the US with the Scene Aesthetic.  This specific song is extremely catchy and has such good meaning.  It's a great song about changing your life for yourself and making the best of it.  One of my favorite verses is:

Filling my head with words to encourage me

Gotta get my act on straight so I can truly believe

That what I'm waiting for, is really worth the wait

Stop bringing myself down

I gotta know what makes me great

I'm going to open my mind to all these

New found exciting possibilities

They're style sounds like something that I grew up listening to, so they feel a bit nostalgic.  I can't wait to follow them more and continue hearing them climb up the music scene.

4. Basshunter- GPS

Before 2008, I really hated techno.  I never understood how people could listen to something that sounded the same for more than 6 minutes.  I didn't get it and just pushed it away.  Then my boyfriend at the time was really into techno.  Basshunter was one of his favorites and he had me listen to it.  I thought it was pretty cool and I loved the bounciness and energy that his songs had.  They did sound similar, but it made me realize that techno can be cool.  I love Basshunter's voice in his original work, and his American stuff is all about love, but still so energetic.  Thanks to my ex, I was introduced into the world of techno and the variety it could provide.  From there it really kept me open minded about listening to it which leads me to my next selection....

5. Tiësto- Escape Me

In Feb. 2010, I had a new roommate move in with me at my apartment for Brooks.  Kiana is always so fun and cheery.  And she was always singing.  She was usually singing a little set list of songs and there was one in particular she was always singing/listening too.  Finally, when we got more comfortable around each other, I asked her to share her music knowledge with me and I finally discovered the name of the song.  It was Tiësto's Escape Me.  I guess I can say that Tiësto and Kiana were the people who finally got me into techno for good.  I even went to a rave for Halloween last year!  I understand techno now and I such a bigger appreciation for it.  There's a stigma that techno is created by talentless people.  I've heard people say they think that DJ's just mix other people's music and can't create their own.  I highly disagree after being introduced to so many different and talented musicians.  So thanks to Kiana and Tiësto for cementing my love for electronic music.  

6. Kina Grannis- Valentine

I first discovered Kina Grannis by a friend sending me a youtube video of her offical Valentine video.  I instantly fell in love.  The lyrics were so simple and beautiful and I thought the she was just a happy and cheery person.  Soon after her album went on sale and I immediately downloaded a copy.  Her songs are some of my most top played songs on my iTunes and I know all of the lyrics by heart.  Her music is so simple, but it packs a lot of punch.  I've seen her live 3 times now and she's just as akwardly adorable as she is in her youtube videos.  This Valentines day I perfected finger picking and singing this song.  I've been working on it since November, so it was a lot of work, but so worth it.  Kina definitely inspired me to start playing guitar again and I will continue to support her music as she reaches for greater heights.  

7. Monkey Majik- Sotsugyou, Soshite Mirai e (Graduation, and then to the future)

I became a fan of Monkey Majik after their duet with m-flo for Picture Perfect.  This song came out in 2007, the same year I graduated so I feel like this is my graduation song.  :)  It reminds me of the good times I had with friends back then and that I am still close with a lot of good high school friends.  It's not one of their more popular songs, but it's still a favorite and always brings a smile to my face.  One of my favorite verses is:
We could stay close say no goodbyes
Keeping our ties and never unwind
Maybe tomorrow we can go out for a ride
We’re driving for miles there’s always smile
Your very first kiss remember those days
‘Cause in my heart i know you’re close to me

8. Time (We Plants are Happy Plants remix)- Hans Zimmer
Inception was one of those movies that really made me wish I had tried going into cinematography.  I love visually stunning movies like this and the dream sequences were very intricate visually.  This is one of my favorite movies and I heard this mix last month.  I loved this theme in the movie, especially when it's used at the ending, and hearing a remix of it actually work was really cool.  

9. Gifts & Curses- Yellowcard

You can start the hating now, I don't care.  Yellowcard was my favorite band back when SSX 3 came out (2003) because their track Way Away was in the soundtrack.  I immediately went to the store and picked up a copy of Ocean Avenue and fell in love with their sound.  I love that they use violin and Ryan Key is still one of my all time favorite vocalists.  People hate them, people judge me, but I love them too much to care.  I was so lucky and went to their comeback concert back in November 2010.  It was everything I ever dreamed of.  I even got the signatures of each member and I was able to tell Ryan Key that he is one of my favorite singers ever.  They're comeback album is about to come out in March and they already have 2 singles out.  This particular song by them was on the Spider-Man 2 soundtrack (a super legit soundtrack) but it's definitely one of my Yellowcard favorites.  Forgive me for only finding a cheesy fan-video to share but at least the music is there.  In the latest single, "For You and Your Denial" it opens up with Sean Mackin's violin.  When I first heard it I thought to myself, "Yellowcard is back."

10. Nothing Better- The Postal Service
This is one of my favorite duets.  Maybe because it's bittersweet?  It's a sad song, but the vocals are really nice.  It's just fun to sing, especially if you have someone sing with you.

11. Bristlecone- Trace Bundy
This is the first song on Trace Bundy's Adapt album, and it was the very first one I heard.  Before this I had no idea that people could make such amazing music on guitar without having to sing.  It amazed me that people have this much talent at playing guitar and made me appreciate a whole different style of playing.  

12. Resistance- Muse
I saw Muse back in September 2010 because a friend couldn't go to the LA Staples Center show so he gave me his tickets.  It was my first big venue and it was life changing.  Every song they played I knew and seeing these masters of showmanship at work was fantastic.  This live was so intense and so very very awesome.  Resistance is a track from their latest album and I absolutely love this song.  Matt Bellamy's voice is so wonderful and seeing this song live made me love this even more.  Muse produces amazing music and maybe someday I will get to see them live again.  

13. Truth- Chiddy Bang
I don't remember how I found them.  All I know is that I immediately loved them.  Yes they rap, yet it sounds so different than the usual hip-hop/rap scene.  I'm still fairly new to them, but I can't wait to hear more from them.  

14. Journey- Morgan Komure

I feel like I keep on promoting my friend's music, but I really do feel like people enjoy it.  But this was one of my favorite songs off his little demo tape and since he's made a youtube account and re-recorded it I still love the song.  What's even more impressive is that it was the first song he wrote.  I wish him luck with his future songwriting and promoting.  

15. Improper Dancing- Electric Six 
For those who don't know Electric Six, usually 2 of the introduction videos that you might know of theirs are Gay Bar and Danger! High Voltage!.  They're music is upbeat and something you can't sit still too.  I love the singer's unique voice and their song content is usually fun dance songs or ones about sex.  hahaha.  But seriously.  No one else can make subjects like this as great as Electric Six.

Day 3

Day 03
A habit you wish you didn't have.

I wish I didn't bite my nails.  I have tried everything to stop.  I blame the original Parent Trap movie for influencing me to start.  No seriously, that is why I started.  =\  I try and paint them to keep me from biting them, which usually works until they all start to snag and then I'm back to biting them.  And when you paint your nails while they are incredibly short, I think it looks terrible so I always have a hard time starting up on growing them again.  I always say I'll stop, but it never really happens for more than a month.

Day 2

Day 02- A picture of something you cannot live without.

This might sound incredibly cheesy, but I can't live without my eyes.  If I didn't have them, I wouldn't be able to be a photographer.  I wouldn't see all the great and wonderful things there are to see in this world.  I feel like we take things for granted until they're gone.  I want to keep my eye sight so I can continue photographing until I die.  

30 Day Challenge Start!

So after much deliberating, I decided to try the 30 day challenge.  I only have a few viewers so I suppose it's okay to be so personal.  =P  I want to try to go in order so here let's see how well I do!  :D

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself.
Day 02- A picture of something you cannot live without.
Day 03- A habit that you wish you didn’t have.
Day 04- List 15 songs that represent your life’s soundtrack.
Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to.
Day 06- A hobby you have.
Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you.
Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why.
Day 09- Something/someone you’re proud of.
Day 10- A story about a past relationship.
Day 11- A picture of something you dislike.
Day 12- A picture of your room; don’t cheat by cleaning it. Share a secret.
Day 13- Write a letter telling someone something you could never tell them.
Day 14- A picture of something you ate and 10 confessions.
Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle; share the first 10 songs that play.
Day 16- Something you could live without.
Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why.
Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have.
Day 19- Nicknames you have; how or why you have them.
Day 20- If you had 3 wishes, what would they be.
Day 21- Share a picture from your day.
Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else.
Day 23- What is something you crave.
Day 24- Share a story about your past that you are ashamed of.
Day 25- What you would find in your bag.
Day 26- Places you want to visit before you die.
Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge?
Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?
Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned.
Day 30- A picture of you today & 20 goals you want to accomplish.

Day 01

A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself.

I took this picture while recording my video for my first guitar performance.  :)  Finally got it to work on Youtube, so here's the link!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eOpDlNW1p0

1. For those who have only knew me for the past year, I used to be hardcore into kendo.  I made it for the 2008 National team and represented NCKF (northern california kendo federation) and received one of the Kantosho (fighting spirit) awards in my division.  :)  I haven't been able to do it much since being at Brooks, but I hope I get some time to start doing it at least once a week.  

2. I have different groups of friends, but every one is just as important as the other.

3. I am OCD about labeling my tv shows, dramas, and movies.  If they're Japanese, I have to have the kanji in the name.  If they're Korean, I have to have the hangul label.  If they're tv shows, I need to have the season and the episode number and the title.  I'm just a little bit ridiculous about organizing media.  XD

4. I am super crazy immaculate about labeling my music in iTunes.  It bugs me if I don't have album art for songs, and I need to know what albums they came off of.  My iTunes library is one of the most colorful and completely filled out.  

5. I have a youtube channel.  I like doing covers because I can't write my own music.  I'm not an amazing singer, but I love to sing.  It's one of my favorite things to do in life.  I sing just about everywhere except the shower.  I don't sing in the shower.

6. I go to photography school in Santa Barbara.  I'm finally living my dream.

7. Back home I have more guy friends.  In Santa Barbara I have more girl friends.  I can be a girly girl or be one of the guys.  It's what makes me, me.

8. My favorite place in the world is Disneyland.

9. I love baking and cooking.  I guess I'm pretty domestic.  XD

10. I love playing instruments.  I've played piano with lessons from 2nd-7th grade (now I just play for fun), clarinet in band from 5th-12th grade, koto for 2 years, shamisen for a year, and guitar for a collective of a year.  The only thing I still practice now is guitar.

11. I am not confident in my Photoshop skills yet.

12. I really good at remembering lyrics.

13. I took dance lessons from 1st grade to 10th grade because I knew that I wasn't good at sports.

14. I think my latest catchphrase is, "It's like in that one episode of How I Met Your Mother...."

15. I used to be a picky eater.  I still am, but a I am million times better than I used to be.