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Sunday, March 20, 2011

Day 30

Day 30- 20 goals you want to accomplish.

Wow, done already?  It seems like I just started...thanks to those who followed or are just finding me.  :)  I can't believe I did it!

1) Be assertive and stick to my rates for photos
2) Get assignments/work done on time and to the clients/teachers asap
3) Get a better sleep schedule
4) Work on stronger, technical photography aspects for a better portfolio
5) Return to kendo practice.  It's been too long, and I miss it.  I won't be as good as I used to be, but I want to get to that level again
6) Keep my room CLEAN!  haha
7) To be able to look back when I'm 50 and still have the same awesome friends
8) Feel confident about myself
9) To become better at guitar and to eventually play by ear
10) Visit Japan
11) See Verbal and Taku perform (preferably together, fine seperately)
12) Be fluent in Japanese
13) Work on video skills
14) To not be afraid of putting myself out there and offering my services as much as I can
15) Be happy with life
16) Visit the rest of the 50 states (I've been to 43)
17) I would love to learn Korean
18) Become even less of a picky eater
19) Get an internship while at Brooks
20) Fall in love

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Day 29

Day 29- In the past month what have you learned?

That it's never too late.  I feel progress.  Maybe I'm being silly and too hopeful, but I feel it.  And I know I made a huge deal about moving on when I started this 30 day challenge, but I've come to realize I can't give up that easily.  It's going to be a long road that might lead me nowhere, but I'm willing to try.  I also realized that I am truly a romantic.  I had a brief fall of my defenses, but thankfully it didn't get crazy.  I want to believe that I can be like majority of the people I see around me, but I can't give up on the idea of love or settle for something that won't make me happy.

Friday, March 18, 2011

Day 28

Day 28- A picture of you last year and now.  How have you changed since then?

2010:  This was me trying to do a modeling picture for He Qi Crystal Designs.  I never did send it it.  haha.  Anyways, this was back at my old apartment.  The first one I ever lived in for college education.  I was still pretty shy at this point, but I was making friends with all my session mates.  Still the person I was from Delta College.  Starting off fresh after a year of heartbreak and I had no motivation back at Delta that last semester.  It was tough realizing that my goal of becoming fluent in Japanese was being pushed farther back.  I didn't feel like I had a future in something I wanted for so long and that was hard.  I also felt like I had lost some friendships thanks to all the change I had gone through.  At the same time I met some of my best friends at Delta and was kept from going insane in April and May.  My decision to come to Brooks came in October 2009, when my parents decided that maybe going to a 4-year CSU was not in my best interest.  In 2010, Brooks allowed me to do what I love.  I achieved so many goals of learning how to use the technical things that Brooks taught us and to make great images with it.  I got my first photography jobs and got to photograph some amazing things and people.

2011:  I have changed so much within the year.  I learned a huge amount of information about photography and I know how to take better pictures now.  I've made friends much easier than I ever thought I could.  And have experienced roommate troubles as expected in every day college stories.  I went to my first raves and realize that I enjoy them way more than any club I've ever been to.  I've developed callouses from guitar playing and can finger pick.  I hope to continue on that path of becoming a better guitarist.  I confessed feelings to the guy I'm into after years of hiding them and as a result I feel a million times more confident in myself.  I keep in contact with all of my friends from home every time I go back.  I'm almost ready to hit upper division and am very excited at the prospects the future holds for me.  Here's to another year of personal growth!

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Day 27

Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge?

I wanted to try this out so that I can prove to myself that I could stick to this for 30 days.  It gave me a small goal and also preparation for possibly doing a 365 photo a day project.  I was inspired by fellow bloggers to do a 30 day blog challenge and a fellow photographer friend to do the 365 one.  I will see if I can get on that soon, but until then I'm just going to finish up these 30 days.  :)

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Day 26

Day 26- Places you want to visit before you die

I still have never been to Japan.  It's been my dream to go ever since I was in grade school.  I am deeply rooted in my heritage and I am very proud to be fourth generation Japanese-American (yes I am full Japanese, even if I might not look like it).  I used to want to go to school in Japan and become fluent.  I was even set on being a Japanese major.  In the end I didn't but I still want to live in Japan someday.

I also want to visit places like Italy, Australia, South Korea, England (again), South Africa, Paris, Prague, and a multitude of other places.  I've traveled majority of the United States (43 out of the 50) but I want to go out and see the world.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Day 25

Day 25- What would you find in your bag?

Oh the "inside the bag" blogger picture.  It seems like a common theme with all the beauty bloggers that have to do it at least once.  I'm not as glamorous as a lot of the other bloggers out there so my bag is pretty simple.  Today was English class day so I have my purple notebook for the daily free writing session.  I have my wallet, checkbook and random change thrown about my purse.  I have random batteries just in case I forget some for photo equipment, my pair of sunglasses, and my iPhone headphones.  I have lip stick and lipgloss that I don't use on a daily basis and a small sample vial of Victoria's Secret Noir Love Me scent.  My friend works at Victoria's Secret and he gave me the sample since he said he wouldn't use it.  I also usually have my EOS lip balm, but since I constantly change purses, it's probably in one of the others. I typically change my purses every other day so i keep a minimal amount of things in my purse at a time.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Day 24

Day 24- Share a story about your past that you are ashamed of.

When I was younger, we moved homes and I started at a new school.  The whole time I was there I had a hard time fitting in.  I never really felt accepted and tried very hard to be friends with a group of girls.  In that process of just wanting to fit in, I didn't stand up for a friend when the others picked on her.  I felt so badly, but I just wanted to have friends.  Looking at myself then, I see that I should have stood up for the other girl.  The funny thing is that the girl that they picked on is one of my best friends now.  I'm glad that she forgave my cowardice.  I am glad I was able to redeem myself and I'm happy to call her one of my best friends.  But I still feel ashamed that the old me was such a sad person who would do anything to feel like I had friends.  I am glad that I am not the same person as I was then.  Self-confidence does wonderful things for you.  :)

only a few more days left!  Thanks for sticking with me for so long.  :)

Day 25- What would you find in your bag?
Day 26- Places you want to visit before you die
Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge?
Day 28- A picture of you last year and now.  How have you changed since then?
Day 29- In the past month what have you learned?
Day 30- A picture of you today and 20 goals you want to accomplish

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Day 23

Day 23- What is something you crave?

Time with friends.  It's always tough when everyone is so busy with growing up.  I've noticed that the older I get, the harder it is to get a big bunch together.  I try and visit all of my friends when I go back home and keep in contact with the ones I can't see.  My friends are a huge support system and I don't know what I would do without them.  :)

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Day 22

Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else?

I am a Japanese American girl from northern California who is studying to be a photographer.  I have friends in many places.  I took Japanese and practice kendo.  There's a lot of things that add up together to make my life what it is.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Day 21

Day 21- Share a picture from your day

I got to see Pogo live in SF.  IT WAS AMAZING.  He mixed new songs and had movies such as Casablanca, Pulp Fiction, Star Wars and a lot of other Disney ones.  I loved the live and was so happy to be at the front of the stage.  The picture is INCREDIBLY noisy, due to the fact that the only thing lighting his face was the laptop and soundboard.  They kept the lights low the entire show since half of Pogo's show is all about the video.  :)

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Day 20

Day 20- If you had three wishes, what would they be?

1) To be immune to diabetes.  haha, I think it might run in my family.  XD

2) To have clear skin 24/7.  I've been plagued with it since I was in 5th grade.  It's left scars and is always active.

3) I would wish to be a successful, editorial-type celebrity photographer in Japan.  I would love to photograph the movie stars and musicians that I love so much.

I will be in San Francisco for the weekend, so Day 20 might not be posted until Sunday, but I will definitely be keeping the picture from tomorrow.  :D  Hope this doesn't count as missing a day!  lol

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Day 19

Day 19- Nicknames you have; how and why you have them.

My first nickname was Pucca.  I had a group of friends in high school that were in band together and we wanted cute names for ourselves.  I used to wear puka shell necklaces a lot my freshman year, so they named me Puka.  Then I stopped wearing them, so I asked to change the spelling to Pucca like the little asian character that was floating around the internet.  The name is still with me today.

My middle name, Chiemi, is used to my Japanese class friends from Delta and started with my friend from Tokay.  I gave him a Japanese nickname that was similar to his real name and he would call me Chiemi.  This is also morphed into Emi-chan or Chi-chan depending on who is talking to me.  :)  I used to hate my first name, since it was so common, so most of my friends call me by my Japanese name (plus it's easier for Asians to pronounce Chiemi then it is to pronounce Lauren)

My last nickname comes from one of my best friends here in Santa Barbara.  Kiana used to give nicknames to everyone she met and of course, me being her roommate, I was no exception.  For some reason she called me Babycakes.  And it has stuck.  Don't know why she picked the name, but it's just my name.  haha.  At one point, her boyfriend knew me for a year as only Babycakes so he had no clue what my real name was.  XD  I found a clothing brand called Babycakes and Kiana is determined to by any future boyfriend I have a pair of Babycakes underwear.  lol.  She even advertised for me on Facebook once because she was so excited to buy a pair.  hahaha

Those are my few nicknames.  Specific groups of people call me certain names, but majority of my friends just call me Lauren.  :)  Either way, I will answer to any of these!

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Day 18

Day 18- Plans/Dreams/Goals you have

  • I want to be a successful editorial-type photographer (people in general, advertising/portraits/anything)
  • I want to be able to get all my school loans paid quickly
  • I want to play guitar proficiently 
  • I want to speak Japanese fluently
  • I want to stay friends with all of the great ones I have now
  • I want to be me through it all

Monday, March 7, 2011

Day 17

Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why.

I would love to switch places with Yoon.  She is Verbal's husband, but that's a small detail.  I would love to see how it is to be such an influential person in the fashion industry.  Yoon has this look and attitude that is something I would love to exude.  It would be so cool to run Ambush Designs for a day and just be awesome traveling and working as her.  She is definitely a role model for me.  :)

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Day 16

Day 16- Something you could live without

I want to live without soda.  For some reason I like drinking it.  I know it's just extra calories and not good for you, but my self control about it is very very low.  I might be able to cut it for awhile, but I never succeed at cutting it out completely.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Day 15

Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle and list the first 15 songs that come up (I have 6681 songs total so the songs might get crazy... XD)

I'm heading back to Santa Barbara today for another session.  Disneyland with my sister tomorrow for a last minute visit!  :D

1) Sea of love- Fly to the Sky
2) Blood Red Summer- Coheed & Cambria
3) チャンピオーネ (Champione)- Orange Range

4) Defying Gravity- Idina Menzel & Kristen Chenoweth
5) Pass me the Sugar- Olivia
6) We're So Far Away- Mae
7) Where Are You Now?- Michelle Branch
8) come again- m-flo
9) Under the Sun- Do as Infinity
10) Go Away- 2NE1
11) Passion ~opening version~ - Utada Hikaru
12) Armory- Daft Punk
13) Maroon Cartoon- Alan Silverstri
14) Peace N' Rock N' Roll- Cherry Filter
15) 修羅の花(Shura no Hana; Flower of Carnage)- 芽衣子(Kaji Mieko) this is the theme song for Lady Snowblood or more commonly known as the scene where Lucy Liu gets sliced in Kill Bill Vol. 1

Friday, March 4, 2011

Day 14

Day 14- A picture of something you ate & 10 confessions
So I was a bit slow on getting the picture up!  I kept forgetting to take pictures of my food because it was so delicious.  hahahaha.

1) I am okay with a messy room until someone visits, then I wish I didn't let it go so much.  haha
2) I've always wanted a pet dog.
3) I watch Spongebob whenever I go back home for break week.
4) I dowload singles for their album art.
5) I am slowly being turned into an Arashi fan.  But I'm more interested in their acting skills, and the songs that accompany their dramas/movies.  (more specifically, Nino's work.  <3 :D)
6) I am mostly attracted to Asians.
7) I want to go to Japan and be a celebrity photographer.  NOT a paparazzi, a celebrity photographer for things like editorial portraits and magazines.
8) I am constantly trying to find out what kind of music suites my singing voice best.  So far the closest that I've come to is He is We's sound.
9) I want to play more and more guitar songs.  Kina Grannis, He is We, Jeremy Messersmith..I want to play all of their songs.
10) I can't write music and I'm always jealous/admiring of people who can.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Day 13

Day 13- Write a letter to someone telling them something you could never tell.
Hmm this one seems really personal.  But I guess since it's unnamed it will be okay.  I've been pondering who to write to since I read the challenge those 7 months ago...but I guess I will finally make a decision.  Here it goes...

Dear Person,
It is always so difficult talking to you about the past.  We have never brought it up since then.  I think we both realized that what's the point in talking it out?  But I finally have to admit to myself and to you all the things that I have thought about.  When we first started dating, it was the first time I really knew someone on my own without the influence of others.  We had one class together and we hit it off really well.  Maybe you were flirting with me the whole time, but at the age I was, I barely knew how to tell if someone was into me.  I wasn't used to the feeling.  It was great getting to know you and I introduced you to a whole new world of music.  I remember when I started having feelings for you.  And then suddenly, someone from my past came into my life again and wanted to date me.  I was confused and could tell you were disappointed when you found out.  I myself didn't really know what I wanted.  And then he abruptly ended it.  For no real reason...but I was relieved.  I thought that you might not want to approach me after that, but you did.  We realized that we both liked each other a lot.  We started dating and I completely changed.  You gave me confidence in myself and for once I had a real boyfriend.  Sure we only talked on the phone and went out on a couple dates, but it was more real than anything I had ever had.  And yes, you are my first love.  You might not think so because it was such a short relationship, but I really fell hard for you.  Now here comes the hard part.  The part where I have to admit to myself and to you why I ended it.

Back then I felt I had really good friends.  I was particularly close with one of my friends and valued her opinion.  Towards the end of the short relationship she made it sound like she didn't like our relationship.  Looking back on it now, I think she was manipulating me even then.  She probably knew how much I valued her opinion, and used that to her advantage to mess with my head and heart.  I can look back on it now and realize what was happening.  But, no more excuses.  I questioned myself and wondered if it was possible for me to be that happy.  I was scared.  I ended our relationship.  I broke your heart (maybe it was not as extreme as I'm making it out to be).  You wanted me back, but I was too scared to let you back in when you still wanted me.  I regretted my decision for awhile.  I knew it wasn't possible for us anymore but I always wondered what kind of person I would have turned out to be had I stayed with you for longer.  

I didn't see you for awhile.  Then we met up again.  And we went back to being how we were when we first met.  It's wonderful to be such a good friend of yours, even though I did a terrible and stupid thing.  But it seriously was a growing experience.  It gave me the knowledge to never let someone's opinion of your happiness get in the way.  I'm so glad that you can call me a friend, and I want you to know that I'm truly sorry for back then.  I know it probably doesn't mean much, but know that scared and confused, 16 year old me really did love our relationship.  I don't regret dating you and I am so glad to have you in my life as we are now.  Thank you for teaching me about what love could be and giving me a magical first love experience.  I might not be your first love, but I'm okay with that.  I'm so glad you can call me your friend and I hope to be a part of your life for a very long time to come.  Thank you for always being there for me.  :)  

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Day 12

Day 12- A picture of your room, don't cheat by cleaning it! Share a secret.

This is my room back in Lodi.  I've been sleeping in it for a few days so it's a bit messy.  XD  Let's see...a secret?  Hmm.  I am drawing a blank..

I guess I sometimes worry that I won't be able to make it as a photographer.  Competition is tough and finding something that makes people come back to you will be tough, but I'm going to give it my all and be the best that I can be.  

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Day 11

Day 11- A picture of something you dislike

I hate bananas. I can't stand them. Don't like the texture, taste, or anything about them. I've never been able to eat them, and probably never will.